Eating Out With Kids

Don't be afraid to take kids to nice restaurants.

     A few nights ago, the kids and I took my wife to dinner at a nice restaurant for her birthday.  There was valet parking, the tablecloth was starched white linen, the servers and bus people wore uniforms, and yes, it was a bit pricey.  But I think kids need the experience of eating out at a nice place every now and then.  Sooner than we hope, they'll be dating, going out to eat for business reasons, and attending formal social events, so it's important to teach them how to behave in these situations.

     Here are a few things I've learned about fine dining with kids:

     1.  Take the money you would otherwise spend on fast food and save it for a nice restaurant.  If you avoid three or four visits to the Golden Arches and their ilk, you'll have enough for a lunch or dinner of real food.

Stay away from these for two weeks and use the money you've saved  at a nice restaurant.

     2.  Go to nice restaurants when they're not busy.  There are several reasons for this.  If the kids act up, fewer people will notice.  If the staff isn't harried with large crowds, you'll get better service.  And since young kids are not going to eat an entire $35 main course, your server will be less resentful (and hopefully more attentive) if you go when you're not taking a table that he or she was counting on for a huge tip.

An empty restaurant is a kid-friendly restaurant.

     3.  Don't be afraid to share main courses, to order salads or appetizers instead of main courses, or to ask for items not listed on the menu.  As I mentioned above, some servers make their disapproval known--through scowls and/or poor service--when one or more members of a party fail to order an expensive main course.  Because of this, many people--myself included--often feel pressured into ordering a main course that we don't really want and don't end up eating.
     However, if you go to a restaurant when you're surrounded by empty tables, you won't be taking up what servers see as valuable real estate, and they will probably be thankful for your business--whatever you choose to order.  At my wife's birthday dinner, for instance, I didn't want a big-slab-of-meat main course, so I ordered a salad and a side order of asparagus (which was not listed on the menu).  My vegetarian daughter Sophia didn't like anything on the menu, so we asked the server if the kitchen could make her up a fruit plate (which turned out to be fantastic) as well as a side order of mashed potatoes.
     My wife and son Andy shared a large New York steak with haystack potatoes, and four-year-old Stella circled the table, eating a little bit of everything.  We were happy, our server was happy (I think), and my debit card was happy.

Share a main course with kids:  you shouldn't eat it all anyway.

     4.  If money is an issue, skip drinks and dessert.  Brief the kids on this beforehand, to avoid surprises.  At any rate, water is better with food than those high-fructose-corn-syrup sodas.  Have dessert at home if you still want it.  If you do decide on dessert at the restaurant, get one and share it.  All you really want is a taste, anyway.

Skipping dessert makes restaurant forays more reasonable.

     4.  Go to nice restaurants for lunch, rather than dinner.   Lunch menus are almost always less expensive, and portions are usually smaller, so lunch is often a good option for kids.  Lunch is also less formal, and since people are trying to get in and out in a hurry, noisy kids aren't as noticeable.  Try for an early or late lunch--when the restaurant is less busy--in order to get better service.

     5.  Look for restaurants with ambiance.   Long after you forget what you ate, you'll remember the light breeze blowing on the outdoor terrace, the view of the ski slopes out the huge window walls, or the huge marble columns and the Tiffany glass ceiling.  One of the best dinners my family ever had--and we bring it up all the time--was at a simple sidewalk cafe next to a gurgling fountain in Watercolor, Florida.  It was around ten o'clock at night, seventy degrees, the streetlights glowed, and everything seemed right with the world.  Oh, yeah, and there was food.

Food is only part of the experience:  choose restaurants with ambiance.

     6.  Brief kids on proper dining etiquette on the way to the restaurant.  We rarely have a problem with our  kids at nice restaurants, since we've been taking them since they were babies (and don't be afraid to take babies to nice restaurants--servers have almost always been very nice about it), but I still give out a few reminders in the car, like the need to keep their voices low and to avoid provoking each other to anger. They were pretty well behaved for my wife's birthday except for the fact that Sophia smuggled in her Nook.
     Next time I'll do an airport-style bag inspection as the kids leave the car.

Have the "manners" talk in the car on the way to the restaurant.